The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] One look at my face and it's plain to see. And . . MISS TRUNCHBULL She holds the hat out to him. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. . [off to the side] Don't put honey on your brother. in a week. | You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Oh, very rich. DOCTOR Connections Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. What was my profit for the day? Why would you want green hair? MRS WORMWOOD You missed it. Here in the library again, are we? How do you do this? 1. BRUCE Trunchbull: "tomato"? It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. What do you think might be the cause of this? I have suffered in this jail. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. Trunchbull: No, not there! Children are maggots! A little less flat, a lot more heel. Miss Honey: . I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. Oh, my good Lord. A little less shh, a lot more schwing. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. Get the hell outta here! 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Miss Honey: MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. A denizen of the underworld! So go and put some highlights in your hair. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! Tricks!" Bambinatum! Harry Wormwood: And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! MISS TRUNCHBULL I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . Narrator: Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! Ahh! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. MISS HONEY That is a promise. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. PDF MISS HONEY LAVENDER - Theatrikos Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Of course I am. Agatha Trunchbull: xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Harry Wormwood: Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. Mr. Wormwood: See how they shine? Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! . MISS HONEY . Zinnia Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Hm? But even you, Bruce, You have brats yourself? Harry Wormwood: NIGEL A little less zzz, a lot more zing. Maybe. You're not a little girl. And what sort of teacher would I be No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. Agatha Trunchbull: I've got my deal today with the Russians. The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. Your old man is going to work. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. Like you, I was (Q) curious, They never stood a chance. MRS PHELPS screams and exits. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Would you like some milk? I can't abandon my children. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . NIGEL You did this! An unhatched tadpole. 330+ Best Pickup Lines Funny, Cheesy, Cute & Bad - iAMHJA "Right"? the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. Am I . Come stai? When the hinges creak and the door is closed, What are you looking at? No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, But to me, they tell a deeper story. Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." . Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. She sat down, and when she got up . Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. We have everything . MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY [She presses an intercom on her desk.] The gate rolls away. Psst! RUDOLPHO Million $ Sticky Host: Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . If you want to throw the hammer for your country. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. Because you're pretty darn sweet. No! guy . I? MR WORMWOOD Crush that little weasel! Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD Miss Honey: Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . The Wormwoods laugh. MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You and I must be Weedles. MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. No! She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . Babies! Narrator: And so, the great day arrived! MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Listen to this: "It was the best of times. And remember to be eXtremely careful. MISS TRUNCHBULL They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. What a pleasure to see you. Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Like Romeo and Juliet, But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? Harry Wormwood: The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. MISS TRUNCHBULL But time is the one thing no one is master of. A little less brains, a lot more hair. [picks up two bowls of cereal] . Ten! [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Please! What on earth did you do that for? WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? . google_ad_client="pub-0578131977065548"; MATILDA If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] Leave it alone, Jenny. NIGEL, TOMMY Patience, my love. I'd love to read to you some time. endobj Oh, parle Italiano? Mr. Wormwood: Tess of the D'urbervilles . To stand up and be proud! COUPLES MATILDA You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. FBI Agent Bob: In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. MISS HONEY Matilda: . I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. MRS WORMWOOD green! . I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. //-->. RD.com. MISS HONEY The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. Does that mean I can get that new TV? MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. And this . Miss Honey: RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. BACKGROUND SINGERS Sell me a lemon? To read? [to Zinnia] . You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. MRS WORMWOOD MAN: So hilarious. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] MISS HONEY 6. When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! I'm not guilty! endobj I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. BIG KID [BEN] [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. Jenny: Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". 21. And so you think you're able When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Green hair? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I told them, I said, "Hey. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Mrs. Wormwood: DOCTOR and CHILDREN You'll fit it in. Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. Million $ Sticky Host: And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Now, here's a tip: Mrs. 5. MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR We all get carried away sometimes. Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. . Harry Wormwood: MRS PHELPS Can I ask you a question? Meet Matilda. Mrs. Wormwood: Babes, I'm on fire, here! RUDOLPHO Matilda: [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. Smile for mother! MR WORMWOOD I love books. . Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. Where is the maggot known as Nigel? My word is my law! That's the main thing. MRS PHELPS We're not rich. Michael: The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Harry Wormwood: It's your father who's going to federal prison. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. This is the worst day of my life! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! Now, the secret to my success in business is . DOCTOR Now, that is how you do it! DOCTOR I love it here! Where'd all this come from? Every day starts with the tick of a clock. MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Chocolate cake. 3. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] . The table stops and the hands hit the ground. The scene changes to the library. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. . MATILDA Ten times two is twenty. . 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' Oh, er, hello. That's right, honey, look at mummy. My mommy thinks they're sweet. Agatha Trunchbull: NIGEL BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. [His stomach growls.] Even if you're little, you can do a lot. I think he blinked. 2. Agatha Trunchbull: Yes, wonderful. Aaaargh! To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. and look at reading. Matilda: The 3rd cost $68. MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. [TV Version] It was like the entire world went silent for that I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. [throws carrot from the spoon. 1 0 obj Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Yes. Matilda: With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Just go up and introduce yourself. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? You'd better hide! I'm the best! MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN The biggest burp I had ever heard about! You could have heard a fly burp. Hup, two, four, free. Now sit up and look at the TV. This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. MISS TRUNCHBULL A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. It's the female minor. Nicholas Nickleby . No! 'Cause you've gotta highlight what you got. Harry Wormwood: But learning a language is over the top . What am I gonna do? Sued by who? One day when I'm older, You listen here, my dear, MRS PHELPS Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. FBI Agent Bill: School? Matilda: "Escapologist", he says! queens! Matilda. Roald Dahl (1988) | by Opening lines from children's books